I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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