I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
