No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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