im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
