Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
