Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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