I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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