Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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