are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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