I'm gonna have a badass scar
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
