nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
