I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
