Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
