I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
