youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
