I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Non-Jews are for practice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
