ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
