I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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