Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
