This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
