God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
