If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
