I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You made out with two different species that night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
