I can tuck mytits in my pants
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
