I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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