even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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