with your own penis?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize