when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
