Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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