My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I understand Curling. That high.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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