I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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