Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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