He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
