oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
