and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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