Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
