You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
