Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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