Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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