My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
