no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
