I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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