Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
