im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
