Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
