Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
