Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
