Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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