Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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