My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
